Thursday, September 23, 2010
I woke up this morning reaching for my stomach, a smile began to spread across my face, then I woke up for real, and reality set in. You are not here with me any more. I cradle my stomach and wonder how you are doing. I felt so beautiful carrying you within. I missed your daddy's blessing and goodnight kiss on my stomach, before I went to sleep last night. I know how much he loved you. Each of us loved you so much before we even met you. Mackenzie decided to carry the case of water out of the grocery store because she didn't want me to lift anything too heavy. Taylor always has a smile and knows just when I need a hug. Caleb has so much love to give, he is willing to share at any moment. Shaye cried a few tears with me, she wants to understand, but just doesn't quite get it. Ella still wants to believe that you are still there and we might have one, no two new babies, a boy and a girl...I wish this were true. Sweet boy Quinton, wanted to know if the baby wasn't in my tummy, was it in my head, I said no, the baby is in heaven with Jesus, and he told me, "Mommy, I will have a baby in my tummy for you"...and then Keegan, you really don't understand. You still want to nurse all the time and don't understand why I become frustrated, it's not your fault. I am so glad you are still my baby.
I am so lucky to have each of these wonderful people to share my life with. I don't ever want to take them for granted. Each of them are so precious, just as precious as life itself.
I woke up this morning reaching for my stomach, a smile began to spread across my face, then I woke up for real, and reality set in. You are not here with me any more. I cradle my stomach and wonder how you are doing. I felt so beautiful carrying you within. I missed your daddy's blessing and goodnight kiss on my stomach, before I went to sleep last night. I know how much he loved you. Each of us loved you so much before we even met you. Mackenzie decided to carry the case of water out of the grocery store because she didn't want me to lift anything too heavy. Taylor always has a smile and knows just when I need a hug. Caleb has so much love to give, he is willing to share at any moment. Shaye cried a few tears with me, she wants to understand, but just doesn't quite get it. Ella still wants to believe that you are still there and we might have one, no two new babies, a boy and a girl...I wish this were true. Sweet boy Quinton, wanted to know if the baby wasn't in my tummy, was it in my head, I said no, the baby is in heaven with Jesus, and he told me, "Mommy, I will have a baby in my tummy for you"...and then Keegan, you really don't understand. You still want to nurse all the time and don't understand why I become frustrated, it's not your fault. I am so glad you are still my baby.
I am so lucky to have each of these wonderful people to share my life with. I don't ever want to take them for granted. Each of them are so precious, just as precious as life itself.
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