{#35} already...

this is a hard year for me
only five more years to {#40}
I reflect on my life and don't feel
like I have accomplished the things I
wanted to by my {35th} birthday
I have seven wonderful children
who make me smile and drive me crazy
I will graduate in May with a BSW
after taking 29 credits this semester
and completing 500 hours at my internship
I will start my MSW in June and complete it in one year...
no, according to the "worlds standard" I am probably
not where I am expected to be at {#35}
but I look at what I have accomplished
what I have survived
the amount of sacrifices I have made
and how I have overcome
and I realize I need to give myself some credit...
I am {#35} and working diligently to make a
better life for my kids
it has not been easy
but it is worth it...
I will embrace {#35} with a new attitude
and be proud of how far I have come

Eleven months...

there is a void
that I desire to fill

it seems impossible
nothing replaces

this emptiness
it is hard to explain

I have learned to cope
I don't let it show

but this ache
can consume me

this void cannot be filled
I seek happiness

and have joy abounding
I am determined

and work extremely hard
I busy myself too often

it soothes the void
but it doesn't erase

time doesn't provide answers
it allows more time living with the reality

missing you, seeing you, holding you, touching you,
provides solace

but doesn't fill this void

Happy Birthday!

Today, my youngest daughter turns{8}

She is feisty and sweet and everything in between...

It is a joy to watch her transition from a little girl

into a big girl...

She is affectionate towards others on her terms,

but give her a baby and she cannot keep her hands off!

She has made great improvements this year and I am proud

of how hard she works.

Sometimes I question if she is only eight because she

can come up with some of the most bizarre off-the-wall statements...

and I love that about her!

Happy Birthday and I am blessed to celebrate you today!