As important as my {REAL} job is to me

I keep reminding myself 

that these 7 children are 

my most important job

and I have to make sure 

they are the priority 

amidst all the other jobs

I am expected to do!

Less than two weeks away

and I haven't even started shopping yet!  Eeeeek....

Reminds me how crazy busy my life is right now.
I am not going to let this get to me.
I am going to remain positive and try to have a Christmas attitude.
{which has been rather challenging this year}

you say...

I am amazing 

{i feel worthless}

you say... 

I am strong

 {i feel like i have failed}

you say... 

I am talented

 {i feel exhausted}

you say... 

I am a saint

 {i feel imperfect}

you say... 

I am mesmerizing

 {i feel undeserving}

you say... 

I am beautiful

{i feel plain}

you say... 

I am a hero

{i feel like the enemy} 

in your absence

i step in

in their absence
no one can step in
they cannot be replaced
there is a void
an emptiness
a miserable existence

the last few weeks

have been crazy
3 birthdays
still need to plan 2 parties
i am not enjoying the cold {although it is December}
i have finals right around the corner
4th quarter at work...retail
sick kids
Christmas programs
basketball practices and games
homework
Christmas shopping
lack of sleep
migraines
holiday traffic
planning time with family
kids adjusting to holidays
travel
choir practice
appointments
legal issues
my life

it never fails

at the most difficult

inopportune

stressful

no extra time
a lot going on

busy

day

i have a sick kid...

Anticipation

of what is to come
what could happen
how it will affect me