Happiness has been a choice

I have infrequently chosen
I have been contemplating why happiness
does not resound in my memory
Why so many times in my life I remember unhappiness
Why I have little to no memory of my childhood
I have been examining my children at different ages and I wonder

        

    {what feelings was I having at that age, what kind 

              of thoughts might I have had, what 

            might I have been doing, what did I like or dislike, }

I have this unquenchable desire to go back 
and get in touch with that little girl
and get to know who she is
even though I am living in her body,
she and I are two separate beings...