What I thought

and
what actually are
both lie
on opposite ends of the
measuring stick

I am so tired

of little things always seeming to go wrong
it never fails
as soon as I think I am going to catch a break
forget about it
something else backfires
I am not going to sit here and write about everything that is going wrong in my life
because I know everyone has disappointments,
failures, set-backs, hurdles, and difficulties,
I can take peace in knowing {I am not the only one}
but I go to the Source to get the strength,
gain the knowledge 
and immerse myself in the wisdom
I need
to pick myself up
every time life doesn't go my way...

I have spent

way too much time
and wasted too many years
allowing my perceptions to become my realities
I am getting honest with myself

situations sometimes

force answers

escalate fear

bring hope

exude excitement

confirm reality

hard to understand

allow me to trust

Up late...

up early...

{what gives?!?}

I have said it many times before

and I will say it again and again...

{I Trust You}

I AM trusting You

You know the plans

I surrender

I give everything to You

I am learning

to define myself...

I
get
to
write
the
definition

about

me
other people can try
but they will not succeed
unless I let them

Isn't it funny how

kids will speak the absolute

to the point

as obvious as it gets

{TRUTH}

Happy Father's Day

to any man
that has been a father figure to a child
no matter if being a {dad} is by blood, adoption, friendship, foster, family, or grandfather...
a man who has been an example in a child's life
should celebrate themselves today
and any man who has been a positive role model in a child's life
should celebrate themselves today   
and any man who has shown a child a better way
should celebrate themselves today
and any man who has made sacrifices for a child
should celebrate themselves today
and any man who isn't perfect 
should celebrate themselves today
and any man that teaches a child to forgive and never hold a grudge
should celebrate themselves today

and any man who has loved a child 
should celebrate themselves today

pleasant surprises

in the simplest of ways
reminds me and gives me hope
of a bright future and sunny days...

..not much to say

i am on work day 3

of my 6 day stretch...

sometimes truths

about ourselves
are
harder 
to

hear

than
expected

tension fills me up inside

I look to You for a guide

through the darkness and blindness, too
I know by faith, I follow You

sometimes faith doesn't seem enough
especially when life is overwhelmingly tough

I believe your strength can pull me through
so another day I start by praising You

and the rest of this day will flow in line
of Your awesome wonder and perfect design

for in Your presence each day I will live
an awe, a wonder, a better person to give

to each I encounter and my kids I will show
my faith come alive, so You, they will know

I feel as if

I am stuck

in the 

middle 

of a large

body of water

and I 

have been

swimming

kicking

paddling

and floating

to keep

myself

up

to 

give me

a chance

to catch

that next breath 

of air

I

am

tired

exhausted

worn-out

and just 

about

ready 

to 

give

up...

but

I

can't

Happy Birthday

to my niece
she is my sister's youngest child

 today she is 3
have missed her growing up because we live so far apart

but birthday wishes are still the same
no matter the distance we live

wishing you a Happy Day
and many more to come

sometimes...

I 

don't

get 

to 

choose

because

life 

chooses

for

me

reality comes alive

in that brief moment
between asleep and awake
i push myself out of bed
as my feet hit the floor
reality floods my mind
i feel defeated
i feel consumed
i dread the approaching day
i question if i can do this
i tell myself i have too
i don't have a choice
i can do it for one more day,
with Your help
by Your grace
and feeling Your strength...

I am trusting

that all my my hard work and dedication will pay off...
{sooner than later}

don't...

swallow that shame
or stuff it inside-

'cuz it's bound to kill 'ya
or eat you alive

Guess what today is...

it
is
my
BLOG -o-versary!

Cheers, to one full year of bloggin' EVERYDAY!

living in the moment today

isn't a new concept
but it is a challenge
I feel stuck
almost like I can't move any direction
because I don't know the outcome
or how and if my direction will affect it
so instead of doing something I feel like I can't do anything
I am reminding myself regularly that
I have to live in the moment
be content with it
and let the future take care of itself...

I love to be barefoot

my kids are just like me, barefoot all the time!

this new job situation has really changed that
I  use to walk around barefoot, year around,
and would only slip shoes on if I was going somewhere,
and when snow was on the ground, I would have to peel on a pair of socks and shoes

Now, I am looking for a comfortable shoe, with good support,
that will look good with khaki, and isn't too expensive.

My arches in my feet are hurting really bad.  I honestly was naive to the fact that I
needed some support. Walking around on a concrete floor for 8 hours is completely different than walking barefoot around my home!

I just don't seem to have the time to find that perfect pair of shoes right now.

When I started my blog almost one year ago

my daily goal was bliss...

that was actually my very first blog on 6/8/2010
I have realized that is what my blog has been about
every second of every minute of every hour of every day of 
every week of every month of every year
I want my life to be BLISS
I have asked myself,
  {what do I need to make this very moment bliss}
...Because Life Is Something Special

I have always allowed my pain

to be superficial

I emotionally attach to everything and everyone

I allow my pain to be engulfed by emotions

I physically numb my pain

I don't allow my body to feel its pain

I ignore it until it festers and starts oozing

I am trying to retrain myself to listen to its aches

to feel its pain

and to be gentle with myself

realizing I don't have to feel for everyone else

I have enough of my own to feel

I am experiencing

a whole new side of people
being in a work enviroment
there really are some awesome whole-hearted people
there are also some really nasty rude and inconsiderate people
and there are some who just don't give a @#$%
then others whom this is their life
I am trying to figure out where I fit into these people 
while at the same time consistently trying to learn my new position

I am working 40 hours a week

and next week I will start college classes full-time...

today

my father and mother-in-law celebrate their anniversary

I want to wish them another year of togetherness

and a deeper intimate love that they can continue to share with each other

I appreciate their dedication to raise their son the best they possibly could

without them, my husband, or my children would not be part of my life

my children have profoundly impacted me forever and I love them more than I could possibly love anything...and that possibility was extended to me because of my in-laws...

Happy Annieversary!