Little one, I know you're near

it makes me smile, 
knowing reminders of you will show up when I least expect it,

in ways I could have never possibly imagined...

Today, is the day I was scheduled to give you birth,

ohh, how you would have changed my life,

and my, how you HAVE  already impacted my life.

As your mother, I will always ache for your loss,

but I am at peace with the bigger plans

all things of which I do not understand

but give me the strength to live in the moment. 

...for your life, I am eternally grateful,

I wish it could have lasted longer,

I wish I could be holding you right now,

savoring every last inch of you,

I wish, and I wish,

and sometimes, I lay awake at night,

wondering,

what might you have looked like,

were you are a boy or girl,

how much hair would you have,

or would you have been a good sleeper,

all things I will never get to know the answer to,

but I would not change it,

do I miss you?  yes!

have I suffered a loss? of course!

would I change it? not for one second!

You are perfect, and your life was perfectly planned,

not by me,

but by Someone who knows much more than I will ever pretend to know.

...today, I choose to celebrate your life, as short as it was, and as miraculous as you are,

I celebrate you!