I am focused

on the twinkles of light

shining through the cracks

they do not shine very bright

but the longer I focus 

the more clear they become...

journeys pace

keeps me at a distance
from that far off end in sight
I keep striving and struggling
to do everything that's right
to find out I end up
right where I left off
I'm gonna keep myself on track
the journey without a cost

I miss

tender love

nonexistent

powerfull

fulfilling

passionate

I would do anything for you

you mean the world to me

you are everything to me

I am so into you

I cannot forget you

simple

pure

love

mesmerized by your words

a phenomenon beyond reality

too difficult to understand

inability to comprehend

insecure

needing self-esteem

wanting more

grasping 

searching
realizing

just when I thought You weren't listening

you graced me with a sign

forcing me outside my comfort zone

I acted like life was fine

when not wanting to face reality

{fine} is a comfortable place to exist

pressures mounting from within

I was feeling annoyed... anxious... even pissed...

Your love came shining through

just when I needed to let it burst

You calmed my fears and comforted me

in ways I could have never rehearsed

a lot of nothing

I am trying to decide which college I should go to in the fall
I thought I had decided but then another opportunity fell into my lap

I am working 5 days a week 

I am going to school 2 days

and attending one night class

difficult life issues to deal with
keeps the stress level at a max

volunteer with an foster care/adoption agency

I will surely appreciate my life where it is

tackling the wretched task of managing a team and work

and fulfilling the responsibility of holding them accountable

seven wonderful reminders of what I am living for

that I get to spend far too little time with

just when i thought

life could be looking up

i head right back down

i have a lot going that is good

and i am trying really hard to focus on it

but life can really get the best of you if you let it

some days i don't know what is up or down