my greatest loss

and biggest disappointments

life has taken me on an unexpected journey
many twists and turns
i feel like i have been hanging out in the valley for a long time
i am hoping for a peak, real soon

i feel as though

i can hardly breathe
i am suffocating beneath
the reality of life

Happy Birthday!

...yesterday my dad celebrated his birthday
out of all the birthday posts from last year
i remember posting his like it was yesterday
it seems weird but i can almost remember word for word...

my dad is a man of very few words
i admire a lot about him
he is a man of strong faith
he lives his faith
he is a good example

i am lucky to have him in my life!
i wish another year 
of health, happiness 
and abundance
for him!

1 year mark of loss

hard to believe 
emotions surface
without conscious thought

my chest aches 
my heart is burdened
i can't decide if i should
scream, cry, or curse

life won't release these feelings
i feel buried beneath them
eventually
pain subsides
aches lift
learn to tolerate loss
it has become part of my life

STRESS

Situations
Too difficult and
Ridiculous for me to
Encounter by my
Self without
Support from others

Every single

aspect

of

my life

right now

is consuming

and draining

my energy

{I ask myself?}

where 

can I go

or

what

can I do

to get

recharged

I am exhausted...

dealing with pain
takes an enormous toll

can't help but get beat down
wishing it would stop consuming energy

hoping for a release from pain
don't think I expect too much

Happy Anniversary

to my younger brother and his wife...
today they celebrate 10 years of marriage

I want to wish them many more years to come

marriage is a huge commitment 
and it happens
only one year at a time

i remind my children

...{BECAUSE}

I 

Love

you 

equally

I

treat

you

individually!

i too,

remember exactly
where i was
what i was doing
how i felt
on this
day
10 years ago

circumstances
that changed life 
in an instant
this day should not be forgotten
but we also need to move on from the
fear of the past

life

is

crazy busy

hectic

amazing

exciting

stressful

passing by

all 

too

quickly

i have been searching

for my back door
an easy out
i will sneak out quickly
no one will see me leave

*<{FunNy FAceS}>*

 YOU

 make

 {me}

 laugh

I am having a hard time understanding

certain situations in my life right now
I try to make choices to the best of my ability
it is a learning process for me to learn how to put my needs first
and not focus only on what I think others need and deserve

I get to

choose my mood
accept responsibility
make choices that benefit me
know my worth
love myself
give willingly
take graciously
feel loved
be cherished